As an entrepreneur or authorpreneur it can be easy to fall into something of a rut of feeling alone. To feel like there’s no support available when you need it most.
[Tweet “Believing that you’re alone, when you really need support can be one of the worst feelings…”]
We’re faced with a great deal of pressure and responsibility.
We’re faced with decisions that only we can make.
We feel like no one really “gets” what we’re up against.
We worry that people won’t understand our ideas, or won’t like them, or that they won’t be supportive.
I won’t say that it’s all in our head, because these are realities that we creative types must face.
However, our inner demons and limiting beliefs rear their ugly heads at the worst possible times, amplifying our self-doubts.
This causes us to lose sight. It causes us to question every tiny thing, and big thing, that we do. And rarely in a productive way.
Believing that you’re alone, when you really need support can be one of the worst feelings anyone faces.
How can we re-frame feeling alone?
In reality, the creative mind NEEDS time to be alone. Times of stillness. Moments of nothing.
Being alone with our thoughts and our ideas is not a bad thing. It’s a time to plant seeds, to nurture them, to give them the freedom to roam and see what might develop.
Meditation is also a terrific alternative for when we feel alone. It creates a stillness of mind. A nothingness that rejuvenates like no other.
There are times when we may feel like we have achieved nothing from meditation. But the mind is a fascinating and complex entity. Meditation will manifest results when the subconscious mind knows it is needed most. Such as when a concept or solution truly alludes us, rather than it being a result of our own self-sabotaging limiting beliefs.
So we can absolutely re-frame loneliness into something positive and productive and reap many benefits from it.
But what about when we reach the point of truly needing help, or encouragement, or a sounding board?
What can we do about it?
As difficult as it may feel at times, these moments of loneliness are when we really need to tap into our resilience. And when we need to be brutally honest with ourselves.
We need resilience, because the reality is that some people will ridicule our plans, or brush us off, or flat out reject our ideas.
We need to be brutally honest, because we still need to find the right people who will support us and encourage us.
And the only way to find those people is to seek them out.
Honesty is what will make us acknowledge that the only thing holding us back from seeking out the people we need are our own internal fears and limiting beliefs.
When we accept that rejection is simply part of the process, and not a reflection on ourselves or our ideas, then we have developed the resilience we need to keep going.
Combine perseverance with that resilience and we open doors of opportunity to find the right people who will fit into our lives.
People that we click with. People that “get” us.
We have to be willing to put ourselves out there.
Where exactly is “out there”?
It can feel like a monstrous task when it comes to figuring out where to start the search process.
But the reality is that it is everywhere surrounding us.
Too often we make assumptions about the people in our lives, without giving them the opportunity to weigh in on their own opinions.
This is usually the result of our own limiting beliefs. It’s easier to discount them, than to risk a feeling of rejection.
But we inevitably lose out on opportunities when we allow that type of thinking.
We have to wholly believe that it truly doesn’t matter who isn’t a good fit. Figuring that out early on enables us to make room for finding the right people.
The easiest way to do this is to have a genuine interest in the people we interact with. Learn about them. Their interests. Their hopes. Their dreams. Their passions.
[Tweet “By listening and being aware, you’re far more likely to see the doors of opportunity.”]
As you learn this information about other people, you will be able to determine very clearly whether or not they align with you. With your values, beliefs, dreams and passions.
Not only will this tell you whether they’re a good fit for you, but it actually reduces the risk of you feeling rejected.
If you determine that they’re not a good fit, you can minimize or adjust the type of information and detail that you share with them.
By listening and being aware, you’re far more likely to see the doors of opportunity.
With the growth of the Internet, there is actually no excuse for remaining in a negative place of feeling alone, even if you feel like your immediate circles or local opportunities are limited.
The Internet enables us to connect with like minds around the globe. We simply have to put in the effort to explore.
There are multiple opportunities available for networking online. But if it’s something that you’re new to, I recommend starting with Facebook Groups.
It will take time to search, find, join, assess atmosphere and engagement, and then to begin interacting, but it is something you can do from the comfort of your home, or your smartphone anywhere.
With millions of users actively engaged online, can you honestly say that there are no connection opportunities available?
A hard truth
So then I feel that we can mutually agree that there are positive aspects to “feeling alone” and moments in which we should embrace it.
And that the negative moments of feeling alone are truly of our own choosing. Because it is completely within our control to be resilient, and perseverant, and pro-active about doing something about it.
To find the people who align with us. People with whom we can create a mutually beneficial, give and take relationship with.
Finding an online community
It’s relatively “simple” to find an online community, though it may not be necessarily “easy” to find one that’s a good fit. And unfortunately, there are no major shortcuts or detailed directories that make the searching process easy. As mentioned before, I recommend tapping into Facebook Groups to find a solid community that works for you.
Some of the best tips that I can offer are:
- Ask people that you know for recommendations
- Be creative in the search terms you use looking for FB Groups (often admins like to be creative)
- Scan the group to see if there is a decent amount of interaction happening (if a group has nothing but promo posts and no conversations, it’s not worth your time)
- Take the time to read some of the posts and comments, as this will give you a really good feeling for the general mood and attitude in the group – you want to find groups that align with your beliefs and values
- When you find a group that you like, make sure you get familiar with their rules and guidelines, and follow them
- Make the effort to become familiar with online community etiquettes – truthfully, they’re not a whole lot different than how you would appropriately conduct yourself in a business luncheon or face-to-face meeting… it’s kind of incredible how many people don’t see it that way though
- Give more than you take – be friendly, be helpful, be willing to share your corner of knowledge… before you expect to get anything back for yourself
- Look for multiple groups, test the waters with each of them, and then you’ll find that you naturally settle into one or two that really resonate with you… too many active groups can become a massive challenge to keep up with, it’s better to do fewer well than many poorly
When it comes to a group that is focused on figuring out the beginner’s foundation to an online presence, you’re invited to join our Panoptic Foundations FB Group at:
About the Author
Tanya Jones (Thibodeau) is the owner and publisher of the Gateway Gazette, a digital media news source. Tanya has 12 years of experience in publishing and marketing and 25 years of experience in various business sectors. While offering most “do-it-for-you” marketing services is not part of her business model, she has spent a great deal of time over the last 12 years researching and learning about the ins and outs of marketing, solely for the purpose of being able to pass that knowledge on to help clients. This passion has expanded into a new venture called Panoptic Foundations where they teach entrepreneurs & authorpreneurs how to create and maintain a thriving online presence, from scratch, with ease, even if you’re not techie.
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